defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
