dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
