I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
This is the high leading the old right now
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
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