I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
