I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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