This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
