Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
sarcasm needs its own font
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
