I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
