we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
