know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
