At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
My vagina just recognized that song.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
