the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
