I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
