How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
