problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
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