I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
