Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
where does the pee come out of this thing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
