I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
