we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
