he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
they need to just BURY HIM!
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
