I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
