the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
