I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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