Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Randomize
