..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I think I am morally bankrupt
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
