OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
