That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
