somebody snuck up and got me drunk
her vagine was all disorganized.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
