So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
