How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
