I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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