Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
