I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
My bed smells like the plague
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
