More tranny stories later!
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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