i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
Randomize
