he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
