I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Randomize
