Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
