how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Randomize
