just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Randomize
