dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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