She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Randomize
