oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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