I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i just sent this text using only my big toe
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Actions speak louder than pants.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
