put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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