I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
