i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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