Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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