I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
