seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
