So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
