There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
