Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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