you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Randomize
